Thursday, August 2, 2012

A Compendium of Nail Fails

There are simply some finishes that just do not work on me.  At all.

I think of it sort of like wearing jersey knit pants when you don't have a 10 body, it is super unforgiving and shows EVERY flaw your body has.   Cellulite?  Oh, there it all is out there for the world to see.  My nail cellulite is that I have ridgey nails.  Over most polishes it is really no big deal and you can't tell.  Under certain finishes?  OY.

The OPI Mattes seem to be in that "let's show all of your flaws girlfriend!" mode.  I loved them and they are discontinued and so it breaks my heart to let them go, but dang.  It looks freaking horrible.  Here is an example of OPI Gargantuan Green Grape Matte (great color, I'll have to pick up the non-matte version)

Case in point:

(my eyes!)


Great color but the finish is like seeing photos of myself in a bathing suit, it leaves me filled with the following thought progression "Who is that ugly bitch in that photo? O-M-G that is me!"  This is just.  NO.  I've decided to let these free from my collection and swap them with my friend who collects them and has either the skill to apply them or has prettier nails than me! 

Then there are frosts.  Umm, no.  This is OPI Nomad's Dream.  AHAHAH, more like a nightmare on me.  1982 called, it wants its polish back.  Streaky.  Ugly.  And it gives me lobster hands to boot.  The only reason this baby is in my collection is I found it dusty hunting and the bottle I grabbed was black label and I thought "meh, it is hiddy, but it is hard to find" and then bought it.  She handed me a green label (brand new) and as such I'm stuck with said ugly lobster polish.  My mom might want this, but it is probably too old for her (she is 74).  If anyone knows of any old ladies out there who wants this baby, let me know!  

(My retinas are burning)


Those brush strokes are giving me the heebies.  This is far worse than photos of me in a bathing suit, this is like the photos of me in bed right after my caesarians where I look like someone ran over me with a mack truck, backed up and did it again.

They all can't be home runs now can they?  ;-)      

OPI can be purchased at Ulta.  I found these babies at a dusty hunt at various local salons. 





Clicking on the photos will enlarge them. Please see the disclaimer for this blog.

9 comments:

  1. LOL@ Nail Cellulite. I get ridges to sometimes but I lightly buff them out to keep my nail beds smooth. I have a 4-way buffing block I got from Sally Beauty that is AWESOME!

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    1. Yeah, I try to buff but I'm apparently not good at it.

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  2. My nails have gels on top of them. I totally fake it...like wearing spanx and those super suck it all in bathing suits and push up bras. ...I do all three of those things as well. We're all grey cats in the dark! ;)

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    1. Love Spanx and def wear push up bras! lol. Good to know they will enjoy their new home! <3

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  3. That's the thing with mattes. Sometimes they look awesome, other times they can look too dry and chalky. I'm sure it's really pretty as a regular creme.

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    1. I've found ManGlaze works well on my nails, I'm sure it is a formula thing.

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  4. Mattes don't work well for me either. I do have Gargantuan Green Grape (non-matte) and it's such a unique polish. Could you add a top coat and would it look the same???? The only matte I have is OPI Ink and it looks horrible so I added a top coat. I have some polishes that I will never wear but I was wondering about swapping...don't you have to pay for shipping? So you are putting even more money into polishes you don't want? I would love for them to find a happy home, but I don't really want to deal with shipping...

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    1. You do have to pay for shipping, but for 1 bottle of full size polish if I use paypal shipping, it runs me about $1.81 with delivery confirmation. I figure that is 1.81 towards getting rid of something I don't want and towards something I do want. I just shipped out 4 full size polishes today and it was only 3.00.

      You do need packing supplies, but the Dollar Store has a 2/1.00 bubble mailer deal. You can get bubble wrap and shipping tape there too!

      There are some good swapping groups on FB:

      http://www.facebook.com/groups/503303953029371/

      and

      http://www.facebook.com/groups/288970154533847/

      I've also sold quite a bit on copious (8 polishes). that is sort of a pain b/c they hold the money until delivery, but I found it sells better than ebay (esp when they have a credit) and it costs me nothing to put it out there.

      I've swapped a lot of polishes I've worn once to a new home. I've gotten some great stuff too! A lot of times it is Indies for Indies.

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    2. How do you do shipping through Paypal? You print out a label or something???

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