Monday, October 15, 2012

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

Today is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.  I honor all of those mothers who have had to say goodbye to a sweet angel.  Sadly, I know too many of these mothers.  

After trying for nearly a year I got pregnant with my first child.  At 7 weeks my ultrasound showed no viable fetus.  My blood work was redone and it was found my levels were all plummeting.  A week later a follow up ultrasound showed that miscarriage was eminent, still not viable fetus and I needed to have surgery immediately.  I sobbed and sobbed.  Even at only 8 weeks that child was a part of my heart and my life. 

It was one of those times where I was dying inside and the rest of the world simply moved on with life.  I was the only one left to remember the baby I lost, the future I dreamed of.  Coming on the heels of losing my father, I felt like with my dad I lost part of my past, with my unborn child I lost part of my future.  

I went on to have two beautiful and healthy sons that I am thankful for.

Knowing how hard losing a baby at 8 weeks was, my heart goes out for those that I love who have lost children at 20+ weeks, whose babies have been born still, who have held their infant children in their arms until they took their last breath.  I simply can't imagine.  I've cried with them, I've listened to them, I think about them all of the time.  

The thing about pregnancy and infant loss is that it seems so "taboo".  We don't want to tell anyone we are pregnant early on, because "what if".  But as someone who had the "what if" happen, it was awful to have to go through that without the support of my friends and family.  So I told them all anyway.  They never had a chance to share my joy, only my pain.  

Light a candle tonight for all of those babies who have gone before us long before they should have.  For all of the mothers whose arms still ache without their babies in them.  

For this manicure, I started off with Essie Instant Hot, a soft pink hued white.  I striped the tips with my Milani Silver Nail Art bottle because it reminded me of a halo.  Then for the ribbon, I did the blue half with Zoya Skylar and the Pink half with Zoya Kissy.  To top it all off I wanted something ethereal, so I went with a coat of Essie Pure Pearlfection.

I have to say I loved this so much.  It turned out perfect, exactly what I wanted.  Soft, delicate and from the heart.

Debbie, my dear friend, this is for you and your beautiful Sophia.  <3

Clicking on the photos will enlarge them. Please see the disclaimer for this blog.


  1. Your post brought tears to my eyes... I've never lost a baby nor I know anyone who has, and I can't even imagine how difficult this must have been for you :(((. Big {{hugs}}.. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for your beautiful mani!!

  2. Love the silver tips! I am so sorry about your loss.

  3. This post made me cry so hard. I was 11 weeks along when I found out my baby had died at 7 weeks 1 day. It was the most traumatic thing I have ever been through in my life. Even a year later and being pregnant with our rainbow baby only eases the pain a little. I would not wish the hurt on my worst enemy. <3

  4. Your post really got me .. trying to hold back the tears!
    i cant even imagine how it would feel like to go trough something like that
    im wishing you all the luck with your sons, god bless them and you

  5. As a mother I hope I never know the pain of losing a child. My heart aches for you and all other mothers who have suffered such a tragedy but I also commend you for your courage for sharing your story with us. I'm totally crying not only for your loss but in awe of your strength. <3

  6. What a beautiful post. I am so sorry for your loss and I'm glad to hear you have two beautiful children now. A lovely mani & for a fantastic cause xoxo

  7. Awww this definitely made me shed some tears! Rest in peace beautiful little angels. So sorry for your loss, but this manicure is a beautiful tribute!

  8. Beautifully written and beautiful nails!! I lost a baby at 18+ weeks and a day doesn't go by that I don't remember that horrible pain and sadness for our little boy. I've been blessed with two girls, but it's a story too difficult to share. My family has never been thru this and never knew what to say.

  9. I am late to reply to this but I just wanted to say what a beautiful post this was. I am sorry that you went through a miscarriage. I too know many who have and while I never experienced it myself, my heart just breaks when I hear someone suffered through it. Also, the mani is absolutely gorgeous!!

  10. On October 31st, 2008, I lost my 3rd son Kaleb when I was 6 months pregnant. Having already had two healthy sons and two mostly healthy pregnancies, I was taken aback by this tremendous loss. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him and what might have been. I am glad that you were able to set your grief aside and try again, Shannon, because honestly, I don't think I could have done it. My heart broke that day and I don't think I could open myself up to having it heart ripped out again. Your mani is a beautiful rememberance. Thanks so much for sharing your story. It reminds me that I am not alone.