Today is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day. I honor all of those mothers who have had to say goodbye to a sweet angel. Sadly, I know too many of these mothers.
After trying for nearly a year I got pregnant with my first child. At 7 weeks my ultrasound showed no viable fetus. My blood work was redone and it was found my levels were all plummeting. A week later a follow up ultrasound showed that miscarriage was eminent, still not viable fetus and I needed to have surgery immediately. I sobbed and sobbed. Even at only 8 weeks that child was a part of my heart and my life.
It was one of those times where I was dying inside and the rest of the world simply moved on with life. I was the only one left to remember the baby I lost, the future I dreamed of. Coming on the heels of losing my father, I felt like with my dad I lost part of my past, with my unborn child I lost part of my future.
I went on to have two beautiful and healthy sons that I am thankful for.
Knowing how hard losing a baby at 8 weeks was, my heart goes out for those that I love who have lost children at 20+ weeks, whose babies have been born still, who have held their infant children in their arms until they took their last breath. I simply can't imagine. I've cried with them, I've listened to them, I think about them all of the time.
The thing about pregnancy and infant loss is that it seems so "taboo". We don't want to tell anyone we are pregnant early on, because "what if". But as someone who had the "what if" happen, it was awful to have to go through that without the support of my friends and family. So I told them all anyway. They never had a chance to share my joy, only my pain.
Light a candle tonight for all of those babies who have gone before us long before they should have. For all of the mothers whose arms still ache without their babies in them.
For this manicure, I started off with Essie Instant Hot, a soft pink hued white. I striped the tips with my Milani Silver Nail Art bottle because it reminded me of a halo. Then for the ribbon, I did the blue half with Zoya Skylar and the Pink half with Zoya Kissy. To top it all off I wanted something ethereal, so I went with a coat of Essie Pure Pearlfection.
I have to say I loved this so much. It turned out perfect, exactly what I wanted. Soft, delicate and from the heart.
Debbie, my dear friend, this is for you and your beautiful Sophia. <3
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